My First Pimple
by ButlerXArtemis
Summary: Well, as the title suggests, Artemis gets a pimple. Artler, slash, one-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer – I don't own Artemis Fowl.**

My First Pimple

I stared at the mirror in shock. A pimple? On me? Impossible. I'm a genius. I know how to avoid pimples. I'd exfoliated and properly washed my face the night before. Yet there it was. A big, red, ugly _thing _on my right cheek. There had to be some way to hide it. I couldn't let Butler see it, it was so ugly. Lately I'd been strangely nervous around Butler. I worried about how I looked around him, whether he noticed if I looked nice in what I was wearing. I'd recently spent half an hour of my valuable time wondering if he thought I was attractive.

I moaned slightly at my reflection. The pimple looked disgusting and silly. Butler would be checking up on me any minute now, making sure assassins hadn't killed me while I slept. He liked to keep to schedule so I knew I only had around five minutes left to find a solution.

I dropped to my knees and opened the doors to the bathroom cupboard then began searching around; leaving a mess everywhere I looked. The more I looked the more desperate I became. I couldn't find anything. Shaving foam? No, the pimple wasn't in the right area. It would look ridiculous to shave that high up. Band-Aid? No, Butler would insist on checking the wound for any sign of infection. My mother owned make up but that was all in her bathroom at the other end of the hallway.

I stopped my frantic searching. I could hear Butler's footsteps; he was walking down the hall to my room. In my panic I didn't think. I ran out of my bathroom to my bedroom door, slammed it shut, and then locked it. I heard Butler's pace quicken. He'd heard me slam the door. I could've killed myself, why was I acting so stupid? I was acting like a teenager with a crush. I was better than that, smarter than that.

"Artemis," Butler said, "Open the door!"

"Calm yourself Butler," I said. "There's no reason to panic. Everything is fine."

"Then why won't you open the door?" Butler asked.

"I need some time to myself," I said. "Nothing more than that."

"If that were true you wouldn't of slammed the door," Butler said. "You never slam doors. Now open the door or I'll knock it down."

I sighed. I know Butler's my bodyguard but does he have to be so overprotective.

"Fine," I said, "I'll open the door." I felt like cursing at him but I try not to use vulgar language.

As Butler entered the room I turned away and refused to look at him.

"Thank you for unlocking the door," he said. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes," I said, my voice sarcastic, "Everything's perfect. Absolutely fine and dandy. Now go away."

He didn't believe me. I wonder why.

"Artemis, look at me," he said gently. "What's wrong?"

He put a hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face him. I closed my eyes as one of his huge hands reached out to touch my cheek where the pimple was.

"A pimple," he said. He sounded surprised, and then he chuckled. "All this over a pimple."

I felt my face heat up. I turned away from Butler, disgusted with emotions. Butler was laughing at me. For some reason his laughter hurt more than any physical pain. I couldn't quite comprehend it. I'd never felt this humiliated before.

Butler must have noticed the look on my face. "Hey," he said, "Don't worry. Pimples are natural. You should know that."

"I do know that," I said, "But I look ridiculous."

"No you don't," Butler said, "You look good. You always look good."

"You think I look good," I said.

"Of course," Butler said. He smiled reassuringly at me.

"Well," I said, "I think you're very attractive."

"Oh, uh, thanks," Butler said. "I'd better go now, I have work to do." He started to make his way to the door.

"Butler, wait," I said. He turned to me and before he could say anything I kissed him. After a small moment of hesitation Butler wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, deepening our kiss. Eventually we pulled apart from each other and I smiled at Butler.

"It seems this puberty thing isn't so bad after all," I said.

"I couldn't agree with you more," Butler said.

**A/N – Tada! My first proper Artler story. This would be awesome if it didn't completely suck. I fail at life. I'm going to go live in a** **pit of despair now.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – This is a hopefully new and improved version of the original one shot which you can read in the first chapter. I wrote this because I was never very happy with the original. **

My First Pimple

When Artemis woke up that morning he stretched and yawned, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, looking like an ordinary eighteen year old boy. He got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom to prepare himself for the day ahead. Artemis stopped in front of the sink and splashed his face with water. He then grabbed his comb and turned to his mirror.

The comb fell from his hand, barely making a sound as it hit the tiled floor. On Artemis' cheek sat a small bump with a tiny white head. Artemis touched his cheek gently with his hand, feeling the pimple, making sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. It was real and a little sore when touched.

Artemis frowned in irritation; he'd thought he'd passed the stage where he needed to worry about pimples but there wasn't really much he could do and, to tell the truth, it didn't really bother him. It was just one tiny pimple after all. He bent down and picked up his comb from where he'd dropped it and continued with his morning routine.

By the time he had finished buttoning his shirt there was a knock at the door.

"Artemis, are you up yet?"

At the sound of his bodyguard's voice Artemis' heart sped up and a strange mixture of panic and embarrassment sped through his body, his hand immediately flying up to his face to cover his pimple. His eyes scanned his room, brain working in overdrive. In a few short nanoseconds he spotted his computer desk. He sat at the desk so that his cheek with the pimple on it was facing away from the door and opened up a page with one of his current projects on it.

"I'm awake," he said, "You can come in."

Butler opened the door and strode into the room, looking around to make sure everything was in its right place and nothing had happened during the night. He immediately noticed that Artemis was sitting at his computer, a regular occurrence for the young prodigy.

"Breakfast is ready if you're hungry," Butler said.

"Not right now," Artemis said. "I'll grab something to eat later." He didn't even look at the bodyguard as he waved his hand at him in dismissal. Butler stared at Artemis in confusion before leaving. A few years ago he would've expected this kind of behaviour from Artemis but lately… Butler frowned as he closed Artemis' bedroom door.

Artemis finally looked up from his computer screen as Butler closed the door, thankful that the older man hadn't noticed that Artemis was looking at the project he'd completed just yesterday. Artemis sat back in his chair and massaged his temples. What was that? He'd never experienced anything like it before. It had felt rather… exhilarating and terrifying and wonderful and horrible…

Was he sick? Was there some sort imbalance occurring in his body? Something told him that wasn't it. It wasn't physical, it was emotional. But how had Artemis' bodyguard caused such emotions to explode within him? How did he make them stop? Artemis sighed. The only solution to that he could see was to avoid Butler like the plague.

xx

Artemis looked around a corner and down feeling ridiculously like a spy in one of those movies Juliet was so fond of. His stomach growled and he gave it a withering glare. He had spent the entire morning hiding in his room, entertaining himself the best he could. He had been able to protect himself against boredom but his own stomach had betrayed him. He was now trying to make his way into the kitchen without bumping into Butler.

The hallway was littered with the twin's toys, obviously no one had been up here to clean yet, but there was no sign of Butler. Artemis began his walk down the corridor, dodging the toys and making way to the staircase that would lead him down to the kitchen. He was just about to turn and make his way down the stairs when Butler turned the corner ahead.

"Artemis, there you are," he said. "I was looking for you."

Artemis his mouth to say something but all that came out was a strangled noise. He stepped backwards but his foot didn't land on the floor. It landed on something round that squeaked as he stepped on it. He fell backwards as his foot was thrown out from underneath him and he closed his eyes, preparing for the eventual pain.

The pain didn't come. Butler had ran forwards and caught Artemis just before he'd hit the ground. Artemis opened his eyes and realized that Butler's face was uncomfortably close to his own. He was bent over Artemis, one arm wrapped around his waist, the other supporting his back. Artemis was strangely aware that if he were to move his head he would be able to kiss his bodyguard.

"Are you alright?" Butler asked.

Artemis opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was a sort of chocking noise. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I-I'm fine," he said. Butler nodded, looking relieved and distracted at the same time.

They stood like that for another minute till Artemis tapped Butler on the chest. "You can put me down now," he said, some small part of him hoping that Butler would continue to hold him.

"Oh, sorry," Butler said. He pulled Artemis to his feet then stepped back. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No, I was just going to the kitchen," Artemis said.

"Ok, good," Butler said, nodding his head.

They were silent for a moment. It was very uncomfortable and Artemis decided that this was the awkward silence Juliet was always complaining about. But they only occurred when she went on a date with a boy she considered cute… Artemis' heartbeat sped up at the thought.

"I should go," Artemis said.

"Right," Butler said. He nodded again. "You should eat."

"I will," Artemis said. He continued his way to the kitchen, pondering the confusing and embarrassing moment he'd just shared with his bodyguard. Oh well. At least Butler hadn't noticed the pimple.

"By the way," Butler called out. "You have a pimple. Right on your cheek."

Hellfire.


End file.
